The Witcher Review

Finally I found somebody I can agree with regarding the Witcher and again it's Yahtzee Croshaw over at The Escapist that both agrees with me and does his Zero Punctuation thing that he does so well. Even if you don't play computer games but do have a slight idea of what it is watch it because the stuff he does is pretty funny.

Anyway, my point is that everybody I know (and their mothers) have said that the Witcher is such a great game, that it leaves Oblivion in the dust and that all other CRPG should use the Witcher as a model from here on out and so on and so on. Personally I have to say that that is a load of crap. The Witcher is a really boring game that is shopped to pieces by cut scenes and loading screens. For starters the back story is just yawningly boring, the intro movie is well done and looks cool but who the hell wrote the story for that piece of garbage. So after you've suffered through the absolute first bit you are launched in to the part of the game that I guess has the intention of giving you a chance to learn the controls, it's just that the game never really lets you control the avatar because the whole experience is cut to pieces by a gazillion different cut scenes.

But ok, after three sessions on three separate days (something that is pretty much unheard of in my case) I finally get passed the "intro" part of the game and arrive at the first village where I can choose my own quests and start unravelling the story. After playing for a couple of hours I realize that all I'm doing is running back and forth, back and forth, etc between NPCs and I say to myself "Hey, wait a second I recognize this game mechanic ... it's in every fucking MMORPG on the market!". So what have the developers done? They have created a single player MMORPG that is riddled with cut scenes and loading screens. Fuck yeah, that's a great idea! No it is not, you stupid fuckers. I really expected more from a game that wears the BioWare logo.

Personally I'm so disappointed with this game that I wouldn't even recommend it to my worst enemy ... wait a second ... why did my friends recommended it to me?